o Lefties, Please

ometime ago Baron Von Lodge was the head of a small country near Switzerland known as Lilliland.

Professor Hamblin, the Baron’s chief advisor, was discussing a recurring problem at the elementary school level. It seemed that parents insisted that the teacher instruct the students to write only with their right hand and were reprimanded if they used the left hand. This was contrary to school policy. School policy stated that the student could write with either hand.

The Parents thought that if the child used his left hand, he would be socially ridiculed. They said that at the dining room table, if a right-handed person sat next to a left-handed person, they would constantly bump into each other while eating.

It was pointed out to the objecting parents that this was a flimsy reason for forcing a student to use the hand that he did not feel comfortable using.

Some parents, in order to force a child to use his right hand, made the child wear a clumsy glove over his left hand so he is forced to use his right hand.

In cultural slang, if someone gave another person an uncomplimentary comment, it was called a left-handed compliment. “Lefties are often considered odd,” the parents complained.

Both the Baron and the Professor agreed that any discrimination in the school system between left or right-handed students would not be tolerated. The objecting parents would be told that the school wanted no part of this left-right controversy.

The Professor added, “The right-handed custom is deeply ingrained into our culture. When a soldier salutes he uses his right hand. When offering to shake hands the right hand is extended. Most work tools are made for right-handed workers. When dancing the man extends his right hand to his partner.

“In some cultures people are even forced to eat with their right hand because to eat with the left hand is considered an insult to the chef.”

“Whatever the custom or wherever the place a person should have the privilege of choice to be a right-handed or left-handed individual,” concluded the Baron.