entury Man Talks About Women

ome time ago Baron Von Lodge was the head of a small country near Switzerland known as Lilliland.

Sir Edward, who was over one hundred years old, agreed to answer Professor Hamblin’s questions about his life in exchange for free use of the royal boathouse apartment. The Professor thought that this information might help him give useful insights to the Baron about longevity.

Each month the Professor could ask one question. The question for the second month was about his attitude toward women.

Sir Edward started to speak about women but first said that since he felt that he was an eccentric, “What works for me probably does not work for many other people.”

The companionship of women had been one of the many joys in his life. But it was best to have women as friends, and not get too personal until they are at least fifty years old. “Why fifty?” the Professor asked.

“Because women are like a fine wine; they get better with age. Most people don’t really talk much to women over fifty, but I don’t talk much to women under fifty. The reason is because they are deeply involved in activities of procreation. That is how it should be for mankind to survive on earth.

“That should be understood and women of all ages should be treated with great respect and never raise your voice or fist to a woman. A man who does that is a coward and does not understand nature.

“At one time I thought I would be married to a beautiful woman named Pricilla. Tragically she drowned in a sailboat accident. And that was that as far as any serious relationships with women was concerned. I do not wish anyone to follow what I have done in staying a single person. Everyone must decide that for themselves.

“Besides, I get a great deal of pleasure in numbers. Numbers are very interesting. They are not just cold symbols, but indicators of things to come in transactions in the business world.

“Most people find my conversations about the love of numbers to be dull and boring. Women would love to talk about anything but numbers. Once, to entertain a woman, I tried to sing to her and noticed in the candlelit room she was trying to hold back laughter.

“But in any event, I feel that the companionship of an educated woman is the best of relationships, except for numbers. But remember, I am still an eccentric.”